My Connections to Play

The world is mud-luscious and puddle-wonderful.  Author:  E.E. Cummings

There are no blueprints for couch cushion forts.  Author:  Dee Ann Stewart from "What Spock Forgot"  

Those two quotes definitely tell a lot about what play represented in my childhood.  When I was very little we lived near the railroad tracks and people had dumped a lot of old things.  I spent a good deal of time back there playing on an old couch and making couch cusion forts.  I also used them inside, but my fondest memories are of the ones I found out back.  And what child doesn't like mud pies and splashing in puddles?!  I played with mud and splashed in puddles when I was a child, and I encouraged my own children to do the same! 

Here are some photos of essential play items for my younger self:

These are just like the hay bales I played with in our barn! 

Baby dolls were always a favorite!

This old couch reminds me of playing near the railroad tracks when I was a little girl.

Play was a big part of my childhood.  I am an only child, but I had cousins that were the same age.  My parents encouraged me to be friends with those cousins and when I entered school, I was encouraged to make friends and have them over or go to their house to play.  My mom would play with me when I was really little and my dad always played outside with me, especially in the winter.  I remember gathering up all my stuffed animals and several dolls and taking them across the street to "play" with our neighbor.  He was always kind to me and allowed me to take up his time.  He was probably in his 70's or 80's when I knew him.  When I was eight, we moved to where my parents still live.  There were several outbuildings and a large barn full of hay.  It was a great place to grow up and play.  I also remember having at least three recess's each day at school.  Boy, has that changed.  Our children are lucky to get outside time once a day and that is during their lunch period.  I also think that more parents are focused on the "learning" toys and videos instead of allowing their children to engage in free play.  There is also a greater focus on organized sports and children are getting involved with those at earlier and earlier ages.  My own children were encouraged to play and I joined in as much as I could and as much as they would have me.  They were also engaged in dance class, gymnastics, and soccer.  When we signed up, they were told that they had to complete the committment, but if they didn't want to do it again, they didn't have to.  I think more parents today focus on their child excelling and making money doing some of these activities.  I would like to see more children playing outside in neighborhoods and engaging in creative play.  I would also like to see schools providing more time for play, both outside and inside.  We worry about children being obese, but we've taken away their physical activity. 

Play was always important to me.  I am happy that I still get to play.  I also get to be creative in the art area and build amazing towers with blocks.  I get to run races and ride tricycles.  I love seeing the children enjoy the time they spend with me in the classroom and hearing them laugh and watching them play is amazing.  I believe that even as adults, we need to make time to play.  Have a pillow fight or dance in the rain, splash in those puddles and make mud pies.  My children are almost grown, and I am looking forward to being a grandma someday and doing all that stuff with my grandchildren!

Relationship Reflection

Relationships are important to me because they have helped make me who I am today.  The relationship I have with my parents has had a large impact on my life.  They helped shape and mold me into the person I am today.  My mom and I have always been close and I used to share just about everything with her.  We aren’t as close as we once were, but I still need and want her to be a part of my life.  My parents have done so much for me and my children through the years.  I wouldn’t be where I am today if it wasn’t for them.  I recently ended a 21 year marriage and although things didn’t last, it was still a relationship that contributed to who I am today.  We were very close once and we tried to make things work.  We get along and can talk; we are still a family and always will be.  I am welcome at his family’s events and I usually attend.  I think we both loved each other and we probably still do, it is just in a different way now.  Some of the most important relationships I have today are the relationships I have with my children.  They are almost all grown up and I am very proud of who they are becoming.  During my divorce, they were all very supportive.  They let me do some leaning and crying on their shoulders.  I have very open relationships with my children and there is nothing that we can’t or don’t talk about together.  Another important relationship is with my ex-husband’s sister.  She has become my best friend and I really leaned on her during my divorce.  If it wasn’t for her, I think something awful may have happened to me, or I would have just fallen apart.  She has helped keep me together and I know that I support her as well.  She is a single mother of four small boys.  With each of the relationships I have been in, I have always felt that I have done most of the giving or making sure we stay in touch and in each others lives.  I realize the importance of friendship and I want to keep the few good friends I have.  Over time, I have faced challenges in maintaining relationships such as having other family members try to come between us.  I have had to work hard to not let that happen and spent a lot of time defending myself and proving that I am trustworthy.

I wouldn’t be the person I am today without the relationships I’ve had in my life.  Each person who has come into my life has had some sort of impact.  They have made a difference in who I have become.  From Sunday school teachers to teachers at school, they have helped in my development.  I am who I am because of who has touched my life.  I am currently beginning to date and I have met an awesome person that I am just getting to know and starting to build a new relationship that could turn into a partnership.  I think that is something I have missed.  Even with my ex-husband, it never really felt like a real partnership.  I’m not sure we were on the same page.  I have a better idea of what I am looking for and what I will expect and except in the next relationship!