Who I Am As A Communicator

This week we had to take a few assessments of our communication style.  I was pleasantly surprised that my results were very similar to the two other people that did an evaluation of me.  We all had the same score for the verbal aggression assessment.  The surprising part of that was how the results said that I was fair when dealing with conflict.  I had conflict and do my best to avoid it!  I am a people-oriented listener and this did not surprise me.  The results said that I can be too trusting and I know that that is true.  I am very trusting and always see the positive side of people.  I have made unwise choices in my personal life and have been very lucky with the results.  My trusting nature was to my advantage, but I know that I should be more cautious in the future and think twice before making the same decision again.  My communication anxiety was the only place where our scores were different, although not by a lot.  I found that I have moderate anxiety and they both felt that I have mild anxiety.  This tells me that even though I may feel anxious in speaking situations, I do not come across to others that way.  I can use this to my advantage and take on new challenges in public speaking.  I have been in lots of trainings recently due to my new hire status at work.  I was an employee with this employer about six years ago and although things have changed, they have also stayed the same and I found myself thinking that I could give these presentations.  We are all just people and we all make mistakes and feel anxiety in these situations.  No one was teased or boooed, we listened and gave our attention and respect to each person that presented us with information.  When I think about it, it really isn't all that scary.  I have come to realize that I am a good communicator and that I am capable of more...

Culture and Communication - Week 3

When I think about the cultural diversity at school, my neighborhood, and in my workplace, I am struck with how diverse it truly is.  And even though there is a lot of diversity, I do not find myself communicating all that differently with most of the people I come into contact with.  One group of people that I have found myself communicating differently with are my ex-husband's family.  From early on in our relationship it felt like that were against me and often took what I would say out of context and use it to cause fights and discontent in our relationship.  Since then, I am very cautious when I speak to them and really watch what I say so that it doesn't get used to harm me.  Even though we are divorced, I still find myself being cautious.  The only person in his family that I can be myself around and say what I am feeling is his youngest sister and my best friend.  With her I can say anything and share anything without judgement and she is there to comfort me and offer advice. 

Another way I am different in communication is with my children versus the children I care for.  I did not speak to my own children the same way I speak to the children in my care.  I have always been patient, with my own and others, but I expected my children to know the rules and I know that I will be reminding the children in my care about rules everyday and sometimes many times in a day.  In my workplace I also use different communication with parents versus people I know well.  I try to build a trusting relationship, but also respect the boundaries of keeping things professional.  I have gotten close to families in the past and after the children left my care I have become good friends with a couple of families and find myself sharing more of myself with them. 

Something that I have learned this week that I could use to help me communicate more effectively with people of different cultures is that is important to become culturally sensitive.  I have to take time to understand parenting styles that may differ from my perspective and ask questions and be open to another person's perspective.  I have to apply the Platinum Rule and treat others the way they wish to be treated.  I also need to become familar with nonverbal communication across cultures.  The message I may send nonverbally may not be what I intended and vice versa.  There may also be gestures that I use that may be offensive to others.  One of the most important things I learned this week is to be other-oriented.  I have to become a good listener and be empathetic in my communication.  There are so many strategies that I can incorporate to be a more effective communicator. 

Assumptions in Communication

I watched the sitcom Rules of Engagement.  This show is about the different perspectives of a single guy, a married couple, and a recently engaged couple.  With the sound turned off I could tell that one of the couples was married and one was in the beginning stages of a relationship.  I did not know that they had just gotten engaged.  I could also sense sarcasm and other emotions with the married couple, perhaps because I was married for 21 years and remember those same actions, gestures, and facial expressions.  The single guy seemed to enjoy his life and even with the sound turned on, that one was dead on.  I was also intrigued by the older couple at the end of the show.  I assumed that the newly engaged couple asked them about their long life together and with the sound turned on, it was on that order, but not exactly.  What I did not expect was what happened when the engaged couple walked away and the older couple argued. 

From this experience, I learned that just as our text book says that verbal and nonverbal communication goes hand in hand, it truly does.  We need to be able to hear what someone is saying, not just look at the nonverbal cues.  While the wife said one thing, she also rolled her eyes a few times; without hearing the words I would not know that her nonverbal cues did not match her words.  I also think this experience is a good chance to take a closer look at the nonverbal cues we do send.  It made me think about the importance of not only listening to another person, but also of being aware of the nonverbal cues they are sending.  I need to be aware of both to get the full picture. 

Effective Communication Role Model

Choosing just one person that I think is a competent communicator was quite difficult.  There are several people that I have worked with in early childhood that stand out.  I choose my friend, co-worker, and education coordinator, Sheri.  I met her a few years ago when we worked together as Early Reading First support teachers.  When she walked into the classroom the children almost always listened to what she had to say.  She seemed to be able to hold their attention with little effort while I always feel like I have to work hard to do what just came naturally to her.  She then moved into a more administrative role in the program and worked more with the staff.  Again, they seemed to respond to her with their attention and worked hard to please her.  She is always friendly and very approachable.  I have always felt like I could talk to her about anything and I have heard the same from other staff that have worked with her.  She put together various presentations and trainings in her new role and came to classrooms to present.  She had handouts and visuals and even shared movie clips that supported what she was presenting to us.  We had a training with NAEYC's code of ethical conduct and walked away feeling like I had better tools to use when communicating with staff and families as well as the children.  Later she became an education coordinator and fought hard to get a new curriculum implemented.  Through a lot of hard work, she was able to convince the other management staff that the change was a good one and would support our children's learning.  She then took on the task of getting the new curriculum to classrooms and providing training to us.  She was so excited about this new curriculum that we could not help but get excited as well.  The one thing that I still struggle with is not really knowing how she does what she does.  As I said earlier, it just seems to come naturally to her, but she is a very effective communicator.  I would certainly like to model some of my own communication behaviors after this person.  I would like to move into a more administrative position and Sheri has been an excellent role model for me and also a great resource to help me reach that goal.