Practicing Awareness of Microaggressions

I don't get out much these days and I guess I keep to myself most of the time so I have not heard or witnessed much microaggression lately.  The most recent microaggression I have been a part of was when my ex-husband came to my home on the pretense of visiting with our daughter.  He asked if she was here and I told him she was at soccer practice and he would have to go to the school to see her.  He then started to ask me questions about a guy that I had started seeing a few months earlier.  He had heard many untruths about this person and was trying to find out more information.  He asked what his name was and when I would not give him more than a first name he headed to his vehicle to leave.  I shut the door and locked it and began to walk away when he called me a whore.  I was shocked and very upset to have this man call me a name like that.  I met him at 17 and was with him and only him for almost 25years.  Until this point, we had a very good relationship and could talk, I even helped him purchase the home he now shares with his new wife!  We are still not on the best terms, but there is a little more that he is upset about, but I keep trying and I am always polite and pleasant whenever we are around one another.  I asked my daughter about microaggressions and we talked about what they were and she remembered going out with friends and everyone expecting that her friend Kervis could dance just because he was African American.  I also watch the show 30Rock and it is full of microaggression, or at least it points out stereotypes that we are exposed to.  I would guess this is one of the ways that bias is passed on to our children. 

Perspectives on Diversity and Culture

I asked three friends what their definition of culture and what their definition of diversity is...

1.  Culture - has to do with a person's ethnicity, family values, & beliefs
     Diversity - are the unique differences of individuals in regards to race, norms, & beliefs

2.  Culture - traditions, hand-me downs of your people, what you grow up with; religion, government, environment, social standing.  Where you live also shapes your culture.
     Diversity - reaching outside your culture, circle, and yourself to experience other cultures, traditions, and other peoples ways

3.  Culture - It is where you come from, your traditions and beliefs
     Diversity - what makes us different

I think that each person I interviews understands that we all have a culture that makes us who we are.  We have shared traditions and also we have traditions that are unique to our family and/or community.  My friend Sharon (2) has been in early childhood education for over 30 years and understands that everything around us shapes our culture.  My friend Sandra (1) is African American and will be taking this class in the near future.  I think she will deepen her understanding even more about what culture and diversity are.  And my dad (3) seems to get it, but I may need to deepen his understanding.  No one mentioned diversity as including differing abilities, I know that Sharon and Sandra, as early childhood professionals are aware of this, they did not mention it when we were talking.  They also did not mention gender and how that shapes our culture and is also a part of diversity.  By asking others to talk about culture and diversity, I can see that it can mean a variety of things to other people.  We all seem to understand that culture makes us who we are and that we need to embrace diversity.  It also gives me a better understanding that we all see things differently and yet very similarly. 

My Family Culture

Imagine the following:
A major catastrophe has almost completely devastated the infrastructure of your country. The emergency government has decided that the surviving citizens will be best served if they are evacuated to other countries willing to take refugees. You and your immediate family are among the survivors of this catastrophic event. However, you have absolutely no input into the final destination or in any other evacuation details. You are told that your host country’s culture is completely different from your own, and that you might have to stay there permanently. You are further told that, in addition to one change of clothes, you can only take 3 small items with you. You decide to take three items that you hold dear and that represent your family culture.

Trying to decide what three small items I would want to take that would represent my family culture was quite difficult.  I would want to take my family photo album as this item holds so many memories and shows our family story in a way that we can see.  It shows how we celebrate birthdays and holidays and the births of each of my children.  It has pictures of family members that have left this life so that I can always see them and remember the good times we shared.  It also shows us being silly and just being a family!  After that, what else to bring is quite hard, at least for me.  I would probably bring my box of recipes because it holds the recipes to the foods that we enjoy most and makes me think of the happy times baking cookies and being together.  I would also like to bring my box of home movies to watch and remember my children growing up.  Most of all I would just be happy that my children would be with me and we would be able to take our memories with us and find new ways to be a family. 

If I had to give up all but one item, that would be alright, as long as I could keep my photo album.  The other items are just not as important and recipes can be replaced and as many times as they have been used, I could probably rewrite them!  The home movies would be a significant loss, but we still have our memories.  Even if I had to give up everything, knowing that my family is safe and together would mean so much more.  Having to start over in a country that is so drastically different would be very difficult, but together we can accomplish so much more. 

I learned that my family culture isn't something that is easily tangible.  It is in how we are with each other and the traditions we have created together.  It's more about the relationships we have and how we relate to other people.  I also spent time thinking about how difficult it could be to be thrown into another culture that you are so unfamiliar with.  That would be very challenging.  I would hope to have a good support system and be able to make life in this other country the best it could be!