Saturday, July 21, 2012
Practicing Awareness of Microaggressions
I don't get out much these days and I guess I keep to myself most of the time so I have not heard or witnessed much microaggression lately. The most recent microaggression I have been a part of was when my ex-husband came to my home on the pretense of visiting with our daughter. He asked if she was here and I told him she was at soccer practice and he would have to go to the school to see her. He then started to ask me questions about a guy that I had started seeing a few months earlier. He had heard many untruths about this person and was trying to find out more information. He asked what his name was and when I would not give him more than a first name he headed to his vehicle to leave. I shut the door and locked it and began to walk away when he called me a whore. I was shocked and very upset to have this man call me a name like that. I met him at 17 and was with him and only him for almost 25years. Until this point, we had a very good relationship and could talk, I even helped him purchase the home he now shares with his new wife! We are still not on the best terms, but there is a little more that he is upset about, but I keep trying and I am always polite and pleasant whenever we are around one another. I asked my daughter about microaggressions and we talked about what they were and she remembered going out with friends and everyone expecting that her friend Kervis could dance just because he was African American. I also watch the show 30Rock and it is full of microaggression, or at least it points out stereotypes that we are exposed to. I would guess this is one of the ways that bias is passed on to our children.
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I think you are right about microaggressions being passed on to our children from the experiences in their lives, such as what they see peers do or hear on television. Microaggressions that take form in stereotypes and jokes, such as those on television shows may SEEM harmless, but they are microaggressions all the same, instilling subtle messages that are harmful.
ReplyDeleteJodi,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing that experience. I agree that microaggressions are passed down to children whether or not adults are aware of it or not. It is easy to find this in shows, radio, conversations with family and friends. I believe it is something that we must be more mindful of. I just got on my mother the other day because she feels that all men cheat and our past few conversations about men has not been positive, I told her that she needed to be mindful of that because it has an effect on how I view men.
Jodi,
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for sharing your experience.It just goes to show that we don't even have to leave the confine of our homes to experience microaggression. How could he say such harsh words about the mother of his child?and to think, you helped him purchased his home.