My Supports

My biggest daily support is my family.  My youngest daughter currently lives with me full time and there have been many times when I don't know what I would have done without her.  It has been a year full of changes with a lot of ups and downs along the way.  My other children are in college themselves and trying to figure out their own lives.  My son has been another great support that I can't imagine not having.  He makes me feel capable and worthy of so much.  I am so proud of how my children are growing and the adults they are becoming.  My parents have also been a big source of support for me throughout my life.  I wouldn't be where I am today without them.  I also have the support of friends that guide me and give me advice and lift me up when I'm feeling down.  Other supports would be reminders to pay bills with e-mails and lists.  My daughter and I work together to make grocery lists that help to remind me when we run out of milk!  My job is another support.  I love what I do and it provides an income to help me have the things I need.  I also think that my job gives a purpose to my life.  Not only does my family provide emotional support, but they also help with household chores and repairs as well as helping out financially when I need it.  These supports help get through my daily life and also help me see a little ways down the road.  I know that I would be alright without all of these supports, but I can't imagine my life without all of the people that are in it.  I think it would be very difficult to not have anyone to call on for support!  I believe my life would be very empty...

I chose to imagine the challenge of not having employment.  This would be a big challenge for me as I am also a single parent and I need a job to support my daughter and myself.  I also realize that in this economy it can be quite difficult to find employment.  I believe that again, my family would be a big support if I lost my job.  I am fortunate that I have a land contract on my home with my parents and I believe that would work with me until I was able to find a new job or if necessary my daughter and I could move in with them to save money.  I also have a best friend that would be there in any way she could.  I could also apply for assistance to help until new employment was secured.  Without these supports I would probably lose everything and be very lonely and depressed!  I am so blessed to have the people in my life. 

I think some additional supports would be my vehicle to get me where I need to go each day, internet access for school and other important information, and my home for a place for me and my family to reside and make memories. 

My Connections to Play

The world is mud-luscious and puddle-wonderful.  Author:  E.E. Cummings

There are no blueprints for couch cushion forts.  Author:  Dee Ann Stewart from "What Spock Forgot"  

Those two quotes definitely tell a lot about what play represented in my childhood.  When I was very little we lived near the railroad tracks and people had dumped a lot of old things.  I spent a good deal of time back there playing on an old couch and making couch cusion forts.  I also used them inside, but my fondest memories are of the ones I found out back.  And what child doesn't like mud pies and splashing in puddles?!  I played with mud and splashed in puddles when I was a child, and I encouraged my own children to do the same! 

Here are some photos of essential play items for my younger self:

These are just like the hay bales I played with in our barn! 

Baby dolls were always a favorite!

This old couch reminds me of playing near the railroad tracks when I was a little girl.

Play was a big part of my childhood.  I am an only child, but I had cousins that were the same age.  My parents encouraged me to be friends with those cousins and when I entered school, I was encouraged to make friends and have them over or go to their house to play.  My mom would play with me when I was really little and my dad always played outside with me, especially in the winter.  I remember gathering up all my stuffed animals and several dolls and taking them across the street to "play" with our neighbor.  He was always kind to me and allowed me to take up his time.  He was probably in his 70's or 80's when I knew him.  When I was eight, we moved to where my parents still live.  There were several outbuildings and a large barn full of hay.  It was a great place to grow up and play.  I also remember having at least three recess's each day at school.  Boy, has that changed.  Our children are lucky to get outside time once a day and that is during their lunch period.  I also think that more parents are focused on the "learning" toys and videos instead of allowing their children to engage in free play.  There is also a greater focus on organized sports and children are getting involved with those at earlier and earlier ages.  My own children were encouraged to play and I joined in as much as I could and as much as they would have me.  They were also engaged in dance class, gymnastics, and soccer.  When we signed up, they were told that they had to complete the committment, but if they didn't want to do it again, they didn't have to.  I think more parents today focus on their child excelling and making money doing some of these activities.  I would like to see more children playing outside in neighborhoods and engaging in creative play.  I would also like to see schools providing more time for play, both outside and inside.  We worry about children being obese, but we've taken away their physical activity. 

Play was always important to me.  I am happy that I still get to play.  I also get to be creative in the art area and build amazing towers with blocks.  I get to run races and ride tricycles.  I love seeing the children enjoy the time they spend with me in the classroom and hearing them laugh and watching them play is amazing.  I believe that even as adults, we need to make time to play.  Have a pillow fight or dance in the rain, splash in those puddles and make mud pies.  My children are almost grown, and I am looking forward to being a grandma someday and doing all that stuff with my grandchildren!

Relationship Reflection

Relationships are important to me because they have helped make me who I am today.  The relationship I have with my parents has had a large impact on my life.  They helped shape and mold me into the person I am today.  My mom and I have always been close and I used to share just about everything with her.  We aren’t as close as we once were, but I still need and want her to be a part of my life.  My parents have done so much for me and my children through the years.  I wouldn’t be where I am today if it wasn’t for them.  I recently ended a 21 year marriage and although things didn’t last, it was still a relationship that contributed to who I am today.  We were very close once and we tried to make things work.  We get along and can talk; we are still a family and always will be.  I am welcome at his family’s events and I usually attend.  I think we both loved each other and we probably still do, it is just in a different way now.  Some of the most important relationships I have today are the relationships I have with my children.  They are almost all grown up and I am very proud of who they are becoming.  During my divorce, they were all very supportive.  They let me do some leaning and crying on their shoulders.  I have very open relationships with my children and there is nothing that we can’t or don’t talk about together.  Another important relationship is with my ex-husband’s sister.  She has become my best friend and I really leaned on her during my divorce.  If it wasn’t for her, I think something awful may have happened to me, or I would have just fallen apart.  She has helped keep me together and I know that I support her as well.  She is a single mother of four small boys.  With each of the relationships I have been in, I have always felt that I have done most of the giving or making sure we stay in touch and in each others lives.  I realize the importance of friendship and I want to keep the few good friends I have.  Over time, I have faced challenges in maintaining relationships such as having other family members try to come between us.  I have had to work hard to not let that happen and spent a lot of time defending myself and proving that I am trustworthy.

I wouldn’t be the person I am today without the relationships I’ve had in my life.  Each person who has come into my life has had some sort of impact.  They have made a difference in who I have become.  From Sunday school teachers to teachers at school, they have helped in my development.  I am who I am because of who has touched my life.  I am currently beginning to date and I have met an awesome person that I am just getting to know and starting to build a new relationship that could turn into a partnership.  I think that is something I have missed.  Even with my ex-husband, it never really felt like a real partnership.  I’m not sure we were on the same page.  I have a better idea of what I am looking for and what I will expect and except in the next relationship!   

When I think of Child Development...

Anonymous

"Children are great imitators. So give them something great to imitate."

Lady Bird Johnson, former U.S. first lady

"Children are likely to live up to what you believe of them."

John W. Whitehead, founder, Rutherford Institute

"Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see."

These quotes remind me that I have to be a good role model for children.  I have to give them something great to imitate.  I also have to make them feel safe and secure and assure them that they matter.  There is a child in my classroom whose brother picked him up from school one day and kept telling him that he is bad...he is not a bad child, he just makes poor choices.  I hope that in my classroom he knows that I believe he can do better and that he is a good kid!  The last quote reminds me that the lives I touch today will go into the future.  I need to make sure I am doing my best and giving them skills to use in their futures. 

Testing for Intelligence?

When I think about assessing children, I can understand that we need to know where children are not only academically, but also on a social-emotional level.  We not only need to make sure that young children can read and understand basic math, we also need to know that they are doing alright making friends and interacting with their peers.  They need to be able to work out differences with others and be able to enter a group and work together.  I do believe that some standardized testing is appropriate to find out where children are so that we can help them get to the level they should be performing at.  I also think about our reading this week and how everyone learns at different rates.  We need to meet children where they are or in their zone of proximal development and help them reach their potential.  We also need to help them with social skills and emotion regulation.  We also need to consider their culture and home life and work with families.  We have to build relationships with the children and their families to understand what each child may need to help them reach their full potential. 

I took a look at an article about high stakes testing in England.  The article is from 2008 and it talks a lot about how much standardized testing takes place in that country.  It mentions that schools are teaching to the tests (Cassidy, 2008).  I think we have also been accused of doing that here in the United States as well.  Children are put under a lot of pressure to perform and get high scores on these tests.  In England there seems to be a lot of pressure on students.  The article also talks about a parent that took her children out of the public school system and is home schooling her children because of the high amount of tests (Cassidy, 2008).  Her children were doing well, but now they are enjoying learning and are not under the pressure they once were.  The article also highlights testing in France, Italy, and Germany. 

I work for Head Start and I can remember when we were using the NRS or National Reporting System to assess our children.  This was a standardized test for preschoolers.  I was certified to administer this test and did so one year.  It was awful!  To sit and ask four year olds to answer questions and to subject them to this type of test was so not developmentally appropriate.  There are much better ways to find out what these children know.  I was so happy when they discontinued its use and we no longer have to administer this test.  There are reports that talk about how Head Start doesn’t help children and families and there are those reports that tell how much Head Start does.  As a teacher in this program, I know that we make a difference in the lives of the children and families we serve each year.  My own children remember their teacher and I know that she had an impact on their lives.  Not only did my children benefit from the program, I found a career path that I love! 

Reference:

Cassidy, S.  (February 8, 2008).  Our children tested to destruction English primary school pupils subjected to more tests than in any other country.  Retrieved December 10, 2011 from http://www.independent.co.uk/news/education/education-news/our-children-tested-to-destruction-779790.html

Consequences of Stress on Children's Development

As a child, I dealt with living in poverty.  When I was very little my mom told me that we moved a lot!  I don't remember many of the moves.  I only remember the last three homes we lived in when I was little.  In one home we had rats and bats.  I remember waiting for my Uncle Gene to come pick us up one night because there were many bats flying around our house.  The next place we lived in was a single wide trailer.  It was very small, but we made it work for several years.  My mom didn't work, hadn't graduated from high school, and was not employed.  My dad was a fence installer and self-employed.  I guess I was fortunate that I really didn't realize that we were poor.  I think that the stressor that affected me the most was my dad making me feel ugly and fat.  At three years old, I remember getting a new easter outfit and feeling "fat" in it.  I had cousins that were tiny little girls and I think that my dad always compared me to them.  I grew up with being very self-conscience and feeling fat and ugly.  I think I coped with it by putting my effort into being a good student.  I worked hard to get good grades and to do my best.  I also started going to church when I was seven and found other people that told me how wonderful I was.  When I look back to high school, I realize that I wasn't any bigger than the other girls and I was pretty.  I have worked hard to be confident and feel good about myself. 

I was interested in the affects of war/terrorism on the development of children.  We have been affected here in the United States and I can't imagine being a small child in Iraq or Afganistan.  What I have read tells me that if children have a good support system they may be able to adapt and have little distress.  Without that support system children face lots of stressors.  Not only is there a war going on around them, but they may have lost a parent or both parents, they may not have anything to eat, and they may not have a place to stay.  When they do have their families and a good support system it must be hard.  They would have to think about bombs and gunfire going on around them.  I also wonder what they think of the soldiers that they may come into contact with.  Do they regard them as good guys or bad guys?  Parents have a strong influence on their children all around the world, so that will be a factor in the lives of these children.  Some children may show signs of PTSD

Child Development and Public Health

This week, I choose the topic of breastfeeding.  This is important to me because I feel that it is important for all women to try to breast feed.  I breast fed each of my children but only for a short time.  I never really got the hang of it and I didn't have a lot of support from their father, so I only did it for a couple of months at the most.  I alwasy felt that what I did do would help with their immune systems and to help with other areas of development.  I have learned that even the little bit I did do was great for them.  I also found information about breastfeeding around the world.  In the developing world, people need access to clean water, milk or formula, money, a way to store the milk or formula, clean containers and these supplies can be difficult to obtain.  It is also a more cost effective way to make sure infants get the proper nutrition they need.  Formula can cost a lot of money, but mothers milk is free.  There are also benefits to a woman's health.  Woman who breastfeed reduce the risk of breast and ovarian cancer.  I found this information at http://www.breastfeedingbasics.org/cgi-bin/deliver.cgi/content/International/his_intro.html.